A Shameful Reality, Part I
Several weeks ago, during an early morning run, I saw a female runner approaching me. Under the streetlights, I could tell that it was someone I’d seen before. We’d always exchanged a short greeting when going past one another. But today was different. I was just a few meters short of my turn around point. It also appeared that I’d tdo so at nearly the exact moment that we would meet on this bicycle path.
Not wanting to make her nervous, I ended up stopping for about thirty seconds so that she could get a decent lead on me before I resumed running again. I also hoped that she was going fast enough that I wouldn’t catch her.
No such luck. Realizing that I would catch up to her, I left the bicycle trail and moved to the street, passing her less than a block later and not rejoining that trail until I knew there was some distance between us.
That I did all of this with someone who has seen me before stuck with me for the rest of that run and throughout the day. I also realized that I would not want my wife to walk alone on that same route that time of day.
It was a dismal reminder that we're in a world where half of our population has to live in fear of the other half when they go running.
To gain a greater depth on this disgraceful reality, I reached out to several women runners that I know either personally or through social media for their input. They ranged from living in the Des Moines Metro area to large cities to rural communities. Thanks to their thoughtful responses, I've decided to break this into two posts with the next coming out in two weeks.
What follows are some of their responses to my questions about safety as a woman runner.
Only time I will never run is in the dark. I carry my pepper spray all the time.
I do worry about my safety, but I will not let fear interfere with my running. At times I carry mace but not always. We live in a relatively safe area.
Typically, I’m not extremely concerned about my safety when I run. I’m aware of my surroundings, but I don’t want fear to keep me from doing something I enjoy. That said, I feel much more vulnerable now that I’m pregnant.
Being a female runner that runs alone at 4am in the dark, this topic is something that I think about often. I am concerned every time I go out in the dark for a run alone.
I can be more fearless than I probably should be. Is that because I've been fortunate to not have a bad experience to date? Is it because I feel like I live in a safe neighborhood? I also recognize that I have more flexibility in the time of day that I run, both because I worked from home for many years,
I live out in the country, but I run into town. I switched to using Shokz OpenRun instead of my AirPods. This allowed me to be able to hear my surroundings in addition to some music. I wear a very bright light, and I carry pepper spray. I share my location with my family so they are notified when I head out for a run and can always see where I am. I always have my phone with me and if I am ever feeling uncomfortable, I call someone and have them on the phone with me.
These are some of their most terrifying moments.
A few months ago, I had an incident that really spooked me. I was walking on a trail near the botanical garden at about 2 p.m., so it was broad daylight. A homeless man said, “What are you looking at, bitch?” and then suddenly darted after me and started chasing me. I was pregnant at the time, so I moved as quickly as I could. Thankfully, there was another male runner about 100 yards ahead who noticed what was happening and turned around to make sure I was okay. I was ultimately fine, but the experience stayed with me. It was a reminder that uncomfortable or threatening situations can happen even in the middle of the day and in places where you might otherwise feel relatively safe.
There was one time during the week I ran in my neighborhood, and a guy on the bike was going up and down the street and really making me uncomfortable. I took my pepper spray and yelled I'm calling the police. He took off. And I ran home, called the police and gave them the description. I've also had a pit bull come out of a yard.”
We live in a relatively safe area. The worst or scariest situation I had was a car followed me for a few blocks at around 5am so it was dark. It would stop at intersections but never passed me. I started to get really freaked out so I turned around and ran at them only to discover it was a police officer. As soon as he saw me coming towards him, he took off which makes it even scarier. However, what I’m most fearful of is crazy drivers on their phones and not paying attention, not slowing down and not moving over.”
The most frightening experience I ever had was when I was out for a run with my sister. A pickup truck pulled up next to us and stopped. The driver got out of the truck and started to talk to us while opening up the back door of the truck. My sister and I both were sure this was how we die! Lol! Turns out he was opening the rear door of his truck because he had an extra reflective vest in his truck that he thought we could use. Although he was actually trying to be nice, he terrified the both of us. He was about 5 seconds away from getting a face full of pepper spray. We did tell him he should never do that to a female runner again and we explained how scary that was for us. He said he never even thought of that.
I have had two other times that I have been followed by a car. I was quite a few miles away from home both times this was happening. I had my Mom come and pick me up once and my son came the other time. It takes a little bit of time to get back out on the road again after something like that happens.
I was shaken after the disappearance and murder of Mollie Tibbetts in Brooklyn, Iowa in 2018. I remember being so upset on a solo run one morning that I definitely leaned in on my friends for runs following that day. (Note: This was a horrible kidnapping/murder of an Iowa college student who was out on run. For more information, click here.)
One morning I was running along a highway on a weekend at Lake of the Ozarks and suddenly a man popped up out of the ditch and started running in civilian clothes. I was probably a good 5 miles from where I started and there weren't a lot of businesses or people nearby. I don't remember all the details of that run, but after that I started checking in with my husband mid-run, if I was going to be gone for a long time, so that way he wasn't going hours without hearing from me. I'd tell him that I'd text him within 30 minutes and again & if he didn't hear from me which direction I was going to be running.
What perhaps stands out most is everyone who responded had an experience that left them shaken. Fortunately, none of them were a more frightening ordeal. But isn't what they shared enough?
I believe this is an appropriate place to end Part I on this topic. The next post will include recommendations from both the women runners and myself. I would be glad to share your thoughts and experiences on this essential topic on that next post as well.
Thank you for reading this and please be safe!
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