A Shameful Reality, Part II

This is the second part of my focus on what is indeed a shameful reality that faces every woman who goes running. It's one that everyone needs to be fully recognize. My research for these two posts included reaching out to several women runners that I know who live in urban, rural and suburban settings. In the previous post, they provided powerful testimony that included some of their more terrifying experiences.

This post includes their recommendations to improve safety for woman runners. I've also included my thoughts. Lastly, as in the first post, for pictures, I've listed safety devices. Are they too "on the nose?" I think most of the women reading this would say no.

Coming now are some of the recommendations about safety from the women runners I contacted.

• The main thing I would add is that women often have to think about safety as part of the logistics of running: the time of day, the route, whether we’re alone, whether we have a phone, who knows where we are, and how quickly we could get help. It would be wonderful if running could be just about running, but pregnancy have made me more aware that I’m not invincible. Consideration from other runners really matters.

• Looking out for other people on the trail, especially when something seems wrong, can make a real difference. Of course, everyone should prioritize their own safety, but simply paying attention and being willing to help - or contact someone who can - can be meaningful. More broadly, safer running environments would include good lighting, maintained sidewalks and trails, clear sightlines, emergency phones or call boxes, and more people looking out for one another. It also helps when runners understand that a woman’s reaction may be based on many previous experiences - not necessarily on anything that particular person has done. I don’t expect other runners to assume they are dangerous or to avoid running behind me altogether. I appreciate awareness, distance, communication, and respect. Small choices can make a significant difference in whether another runner feels relaxed or immediately goes into self-protection mode.

• Men should never stop their vehicle and get out to talk to a female runner if we don’t look like we are in distress and in need of immediate assistance. It is very very scary when that happens!

• Bringing awareness keeps the conversation going and solutions and ideas begin to surface when the topic gets attention. This is a tough mindset for a female to change though; we have lived most of our life feeling like we are being hunted if we are alone in a dark secluded area. Because unfortunately, we know and hear about far too many females that have been the unfortunate victim of that.

Having read through and written all of this have me wishing we lived in a different world. But since we don't, I would like to offer my recommendations to my gender. It's a simple one-word piece of advice.

“Don’t."

• Don’t assume that a woman runner knows that your intentions are good should you seek to talk with her.

• Don’t assume she knows you’re funny or charming or a really nice guy.

• Don’t assume she appreciates any compliments you may have to offer.

• Don’t assume she needs any help from you.

• Don't assume you know anything about their past experiences that would indicate why she is uncomfortable or edgy even if you are doing everything you can not to make her uncomfortable.

• Don’t assume anything other than she is engaging in a run and would like to do so without any interaction with you or any other guy she does not know.

For anyone whose intentions are not innocent, I hope that whatever you attempt miserably fails and the full and total weight of the law falls upon you.

As I conclude what has been two of the more difficult posts I've had to write, I want to thank everyone who contributed their experiences. Each account both moved me and have me respecting each of you that much more.

Let me also conclude in saying that I realize that I am speaking largely to a choir who is in agreement with my message. But if it helps any of us consider our actions and carry that message forward, then perhaps we will find a world that is even a degree kinder and safer. And that is worth it.

Next up is a more lighthearted post with a look back that includes beer commercials, marriage proposals and Oreo cookies. Hope to see all of you then! And let me know your thoughts in the comments below.